Thursday, November 27, 2008

My Thanksgiving List

What would Thanksgiving be without a Thanksgiving list? :) There are some very special things I am thankful for this year, as you can imagine. Here we go:

THE TOP 10

1. J. J tops the list because without J, there would simply be no babies. If I had a dollar for every time someone has commented how amazing J is for doing what she is doing, I would have a million dollars! We are so thankful that J's compassion led her to understand and pray about our suffering and that she took the next step to offer something so incredible, so life changing. She has literally devoted a year of her life to this journey. I am humbled that anyone would step forward to want to ease our pain in such a miraculous way. I pray that she is blessed over and over by this experience throughout her life...because I know we will be.

2. R (J's husband). Without a supportive husband, there would also be no babies! R is an equally amazing person - how many men are willing to support a wife going through a year of pregnancy preparations and pregnancy when it is not for his own family? J and R are truly selfless people. He has probably explained countless times that his wife is pregnant with another man's baby. LOL In addition to that, he has stepped forward many times to be late to work, or leave early from work, or work from home to watch the kids and allow us all to go to appointments. Now that J is on bed rest, he has had to step up to run the house at times when J can't. Even if J alone were willing to carry two babies for us, without R's support, it just wouldn't be possible. We are so grateful for him.

3. D (J's mom). J's mom has been an absolutely amazing help as well! She came and babysat for many appointments so that B and I could both go and see our babies. She has come at late notice and been so flexible with her help watching the kids. It gave us so many wonderful memories of the pregnancy to be able to experience the ultrasounds together, and that is courtesy of J's mom. She is a wonderful lady and we are so grateful that she was willing to help in this way.

4. E & O (J's kids). Technically, E & O had no choice in the matter. BUT if they had been different kids that couldn't have adjusted well to all the changes, it probably wouldn't have been possible for J to do all this. I think they have done as well as anyone possibly could at ages 2 and 3 with all that has gone on. I know it would have been even harder on J if they seemed like they were constantly suffering, so I am grateful that they have done so well.

5. Wait for it...THE BABIES! I can't be thankful for the babies before being thankful for all the people who made their very existence possible (J and her family). I just can't believe we will get to meet them soon. I can't wait to touch their little hands and kiss their little cheeks. I'm even looking forward to a poopy diaper or two (but only one or two :). A year ago, I didn't even know if we would ever have kids. My heart was filled with tears for what might never be for us. All the dreams that you have growing up of a family and what it will be like seemed to have been shattered for us and I felt like I was swimming in a sea of disbelief, bitterness, anger, and sadness. Even though we had started talking about surrogacy at this point last year, I certainly didn't assume it would work. It seemed like just another thing to try. That was only one year ago. Today we are on the verge of being blessed with TWO babies and for that we couldn't possibly be more grateful. THANK YOU GOD!

6. B. My husband is the BEST! As cliche as it sounds, we really are best friends. We have certainly had our share of difficulties when struggling through infertility (ahem, after failed cycles) but there was never any doubt that if we had nothing else, we would have each other forever. As much as I tease B about being a brick wall without emotion sometimes, I am grateful that he has been such a rock through all this. One of us had to be. It wasn't me! Even now, as I'm feeling a bit mentally and emotionally spent, he just keeps reminding me of the end goal and telling me, "I can't wait to be parents with you." :)

7. Our families. We are very lucky to have wonderful families on both sides! Our families are both small, but there is a lot of love and support. Nathan and Kenna will be very cherished by everyone and are lucky to be surrounded by so much love.

8. Our friends. I'm so thankful for our wonderful friends, many of whom have been keeping up on the blog, sending emails of encouragement, checking in on the status of J and the babies, etc. Our friends have put the cherry on top of our journey. :)

9. My online friends. This is such an interesting phenomenon with the internet, that you can actually have friends whom you have never met. I have made friends with a lot of ladies over the last couple of years from infertility message boards and we still regularly keep up with each other. They can understand in a way that "regular" friends cannot, and that is a life saver when you are suffering. I can't even imagine going through all those IVFs without the virtual hand holding of all those other ladies in the same situation. And now, with the blog, I have had the opportunity to get to know fellow bloggers in the surrogacy world and it has been a true pleasure. It's not like you meet others involved in surrogacy very easily...if ever. What an awesome opportunity, to meet others in this unique situation online!

10. Our cats. I know, if you're not an animal person, you just don't get it. But our cats are SO important and special to us. When people come over, they just see two cats. We see our fur-babies. We spend so much time loving them, petting them, admiring how cute they are. We love them so much and they are 100% a part of the family and not just pets.

AND A BUNCH OF OTHER THINGS AS THEY COME TO MIND...I'M THANKFUL FOR:

11. People from J's church who have offered to bring over food to J while she is on bedrest.

12. Our church

13. Ample food to eat

14. A home to live in

15. Living in a country where we feel safe and have daily freedom

16. The fact that I don't think I've ever experienced boredom in my life because I have so many interests, hobbies and passions

17. The opportunities I have had to start my own business and work from home

18. The fact that J's insurance covered our surrogacy

19. The fact that B works from home and owns his own business too, so he has had a flexibility that many men don't to attend all the appointments, etc.

20. The opportunity to have visited several locations throughout the world

21. Backpacking

22. Camping

23. Hiking

24. Fishing

25. Mammoth Mountain (that's for you J and C!)

26. The rest of the Sierras

27. The fact that I experienced SCUBA diving a few times before it freaked me out and I decided I probably can't go again

28. The legacy of my grandparents, whom I loved dearly

29. My favorite restaurants: Wahoo's, Souplantation, and Cold Stone Creamery

30. The chance to put Christmas lights outside our house this year

31. Lazy days when B and I get to snuggle and read books with the fireplace on and the cats by our sides

32. Good health...OK, that doesn't belong at 32, but this is in no particular order :)

33. My love of holidays...I literally can get excited at any given time about the next upcoming holiday! I have fun with it!

34. Email...I'm not a phone person at all and email is so much more efficient

35. Our small group that meets weekly from church

36. Animals of all kinds - they make me so happy!

37. Disneyland

38. Big grassy parks

39. Living in a place that is still 80 degrees in November

40. Getting rain this week - a nice change

41. Reese's peanut butter cups, my absolute favorite combination of peanut butter and chocolate

42. The really cute nursery we have set up :)

43. Days when I can take an afternoon nap - I feel so happy when that happens!

44. Being done with Christmas shopping early this year

45. Being ready for the babies so early that I don't have to stress about what is left on the list!

46. B's sweet face in the morning when he is still waking up :)

47. Not working in an office anymore - I love working from home

48. My God-given extreme level of motivation that has carried me in life

49. Enthusiasm to write a book on what to expect for intended mothers...I have the outline already :)

50. A Thanksgiving where I can be thankful for the gift of a double sized family to come soon.

Happy Thanksgiving!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

What a beautiful post. Your babies are so lucky to have a mom who understands that gratitude is the key to a happy life. In a few weeks you can be grateful for their little sighs, coos and smiles. I'm so happy for you!

MyLifeMyWorld said...

Happy Thanksgiving to you too! I hope its a great one, and soon babies will be here and there will be even more to add to your list.

Enjoy

Sanda said...

Happy Thanksgiving!! Seriously - what a year filled with things to be thankful for!!

Sarah Andrews said...

Wow - can you put a tearjerker warning on posts like this? I totally teared all up! What a beautiful post and your true colours SHINE N! Have a happy thanksgiving!

Niki said...

I loved reading your post as it made me smile. You do have so much to be thankful for and your gratitude will be a wonderful gift to pass along to your children! Best wishes and Happy Thanksgiving!

Wewurtskihit said...

Happy Thanksgiving and yes, #9 is definitely a unique happenstance that I will cherish the rest of my life no matter what happens!!!