Last night B and I attended part I of a two part hospital class on "Baby Care Basics". Part I was just sort of an introduction to what your baby goes through in transitioning from the womb to the room (the class teacher absolutely loved saying that rhyme over and over and thought it was very clever). Then we saw a slideshow with pictures from delivery rooms so we could see what babies look like right after birth. It finished with a movie about all the natural instincts newborns have, their various reflexes, abilities, etc.
Although the content was all stuff I had read, it was particularly helpful for me to just have the visuals. I have a LOT of trouble comprehending what it will feel like to have a baby. I don't mean logistically - I know we will figure all that out. I just mean emotionally. I have no idea what to expect to feel like when they hand us two babies!
I think I have mentioned this before, but I am an only child, my mom is an only child and my dad is an only child; I have no siblings, aunts, uncles, or cousins. When I babysat as a teenager, it was for kids 2 and up. I was never around family with babies or friends with babies. By the time we started trying, and then had trouble, our friends started having babies, and I avoided those babies. There could be babies everywhere around me but I would look right between them or above them. And I never held them. I really don't think I have held a baby more than 4 or 5 times in my life. So I can't *conceptualize* what holding my own would be like. I think it is so much easier for most people to think about their baby because they have been around babies a lot and can easily picture what swapping out someone else's for their own would be like. I don't have a "place holder" baby in my head to swap with!
When I think of having a baby, I really think of having a family with kids age 2+! LOL The best way I can think of to explain it is this: Say you really love butterflies. You have seen them quite a bit and think they are beautiful. You can't wait to have one. You envision yourself chasing it around the yard as it flies and looks beautiful. But in reality, you are about to have a caterpillar first...a completely different creature that you know nothing about. Someone is going to hand you a caterpillar to take care of for two years in about 4-5 weeks from now. You aren't really daydreaming about the caterpillar, you daydream about the butterfly. You just don't know WHAT to make of the caterpillar because it is like a foreign creature. That's how I feel right now. :) (Of course I know we will adore our caterpillars, it's just a big unknown territory for both of us right now!)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
I loved your anaolgy. :) I can't say I know whats its like b/c I've been around many babies. But describing it like was amazing. :)
*Amy*
I can't say I know what your going through because I have been around babies all my life. BUT, I do want to say that it's amazing how your instinct will kick in and how fast you learn.
There will be things that puzzle you, shock you, surprise you and almost send you off the deep end, but the instinct of being able to cope and move through it is great. Our ability to transition and evolve is remarkable.
Don't be surprised if there is dissappointments, much like your analogy of the butterfly (which is a good one by the way) the butterfly starts off as a cucoon and it may be ugly and gross at times. Babies are a delight, but their not 100% wonderful, and there will be challenges along the way. You have waited so long and have these dreams and fantasies and they may not go as planned.
The cucoon may shed too much or feel gross (a new baby might have colic or problems feeding), and those fantasies of the perfect cucoon/baby might not be as you pictured. It's okay to have those feelings and emotions and the best suggestion is to seek advice and help when you need it, physical and emotional, talk about it, journal and find new dreams and fantasies as you grow with that new baby and wait for him/her to become that butterfly.
Bend with the wind...be willing to bend and change your thoughts, views and fantasies, transition and evolve, grow and learn as you go and you will do just fine!
I know you'll do great with your caterpillars :)
I'm an only child too and have the same fears, worries, concerns, etc.
Post a Comment