Sunday, September 21, 2008

Name Wavering

Let me just say first that I feel very sheepish about this post. :)

As soon as we found out the twins were boy and girl, we went through the whole systematic process to come up with names that I wrote about before. We are organizers and planners so for us, we had to decide on names right away so we could start referring to these little people more personally.

Some of you may remember that we had a conflict particularly with the name Kenna. When we first starting trying to conceive we had talked about names and we both loved the name Kenna (I thought I had just made it up but later found that it is a name people do use). It just always stood out to us both and from there on we referred generically to our future child as Kenna. But when we sat down to really decide for sure now that we actually have babies on the way we got scared it was too unusual and didn't want to strap her with something too crazy. We loved the name Nathan and since that was biblical we decided to use Sara instead for the girl (and use Makenna as the middle name since Kenna didn't sound right after Sara). Case closed...we thought. Ever since then we have referred to them as Nathan and Sara and told all our family and friends.

But there is a small problem...I still think of her as Kenna! Literally I can't get Kenna out of my head. When I look at clothes I think, "I should get that for Kenna". When I see her on the ultrasound I think, "Ohhhh there's Kenna!" I feel like that's who she is.

I was scared to mention this to B because he is not the kind of person who likes to change big decisions like this. I thought he would FREAK when I was wavering because we set these in "stone". But I "casually" mentioned this to him over dinner the other night and he said he feels like she is more Kenna too! I was very surprised. We sort of tentatively decided we were going to change the name but left it hanging...it IS a big decision and it was really out of the blue this even came up.

Then we had B's family over yesterday to celebrate his birthday and B told everyone that we might change Sara's name. I was pretty startled by the "announcement" since we hadn't decided for sure and since one of the disuading factors initially was that it's pretty obvious there is no one in B's side of the family or my side of the family who likes the name. I thought as soon as he said it out loud that there would be a table of mental groans with politely enforced semi-smiles (though B's side of the family is much more diplomatic about displeasure than mine - my mom's response to the name originally was "What's that? A Kenna? Isn't that someone's last name?"). It was the kind of thing I would rather send an email about so we didn't have to see/feel all the displeasure. To my shock though my mother in law actually said that she has always thought of her more of a Kenna than a Sara too! My mom absolutely loves the names Nathan and Sara and has told me several times since we picked them. I think she was really relieved we didn't use Kenna. So going back to Kenna means having to hear my mom's strong displeasure about it, I'm sure. UGH.

When we were deciding, I even put a name poll on one of the message boards I go to with "Nathan and Sara", "Nathan and Ella" and "Nathan and Kenna". Nathan and Sara got by far the most votes. Nathan and Kenna...only 15%. This was out of about 80 people or something. So with both of our families not liking the name, with the "public poll" showing people didn't like the name (at least as much as Sara), with us having concerns that the name is too unusual...we chose Sara. But now I feel like we picked a name we both liked that would have the least negative reactions from the world...even though WE love the name Kenna and feel like THAT is her name.

I still don't know the answer to this, if we will change it or not. I'm sure if we stick with Sara that it will be the perfect name for her too. Plus, our plan has always been to have her middle name Makenna...so "Sara Makenna" could always have the nickname "Kenna". We felt like this was the best of both worlds. And it still may be. We're just not sure.

8 comments:

Sanda said...

I say that the names are your decision and until they go on the birth certificate you have a right to change them as many times as you like! :) Go with whatever your gut tells you! They are your little ones and most importantly of all YOU should love their names!

Karma & Adam said...

Names are tough - I personally had 3 girls names that I LOVED - would have been happy with any of them, but Adam was more keen on Addison (Avery and Madeline were our next two) - in fact, Addie was almost Avery : )

That's one of the reasons we decided to wait to share our names (I know, you're not a big believer in that) - we wanted to be able to change our minds without having to deal with the rest of our family!

Good luck - for the record, I LOVE Kenna. As someone who also has an "unusual" name, I'm not often forgotten : ) I like that about my name.

N said...

Karma, I'm starting to become a believer in that. ;) I love Addison, Avery and Madeline - we have similar tastes!

Intending to be parents, you are going to have some fun naming decisions ahead now! Can't wait to see what you go with. :)

Tara said...

It might be taking a village to have your babies, but it doesn't take one to name them! The decision is up to the two of you...go with whatever you like and the name you think suits your baby! You could always wait to meet her and then decide if she looks more like a Sara or a Kenna..or some combination of the two names.

Even though Kenna is unusual, I think it's really pretty. :)

Anonymous said...

I also think Kenna is very pretty, and I am a little biased about the name Sara(h). I don't think you can go wrong! :)

Phoenix said...

You could call her Makenna Sara, sortened to Kenna. Kenna shortened (something we Aussies do is shorten everyone's names) becomes Ken or Kenny ... not so good for a girl.

Makenna is a beautiful, strong and unusual name.

I am told that when a mum sees her new baby she knows which name is right for her, the name just fits.

Ah - the joys of naming the precious bundle. Can't wait to get to that stage, although we already have a boy's name "set in stone" ... sort of.

Anonymous said...

Ugh the name debate is a biggie, I don't envy you that! We also kept our names top secret until the babies were born - we found people tended to be a lot more diplomatic about the chosen name when they were already associating it with baby, lol :)

I love all the names you've mentioned, you have great taste! Personally I agree with you on the whole Sara Makenna logic, and at least that way you get to choose the shortened version (calling her Kenna), instead of calling her Kenna and having everyone shorten it to Ken :)

That said she is ALL YOURs and the most important thing is that you and your husband love the name and feel that it is right for your family!!

Good luck with your decision! I can tell you one thing with certainty - once she is born you will identify with whichever name you choose and she will *become* that little girl. You won't regret your choice!!

x
Yvonne

Unknown said...

Oooh, I really like amani's idea of MaKenna Sara! That's really pretty and you can pretty much call her Kenna all the time. MaKenna is unusual, but it's not so unusual that people won't be able to pronounce it or spell it on the first encounter, and I think that's what always drew me away from unusual names. As for your mom, don't worry, my mom was set on James for Elijah, (she still talks about it!) but ended up that Elijah fits him really well and she can't complain because she adores him so much! She's not too keen on my sil's pick for their new baby girl either, but she can't deny how cute she is!

Funny story--my mother in law wanted to get Baby's First Christmas ornanments to give you when she comes to town in Nov. She went to the store and bought one that said "Sarah" and one that said "Ethan". Then she called us to make sure she got it right and was like, "Now I have to return both of them!" Haha! Guess it makes no difference now, since the names are up in the air! That's my mil for you though. It's the thought that counts, right?? :)