Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Baby names

I have to admit I have always been super annoyed by people who won't "reveal" their baby's name until he/she is born. I've always thought it was so obnoxious to assume that anyone would care about your baby's name so much that you really want to keep it a surprise - no one really cares except the parents! Before anyone reading this who has done that gets offended, let me say this: I now understand. While some parents really are out of perspective about how little their baby's name means to anyone except themselves, I now get that that's NOT the reason why a lot of people hold the name until the baby comes. A much more valid reason is that when the baby is unborn, everyone thinks there is room to decide still and no one has qualms about giving you baby name comments.

A couple of weeks ago, we had settled on a boy's name we both loved. Carson. That was going to be it. We liked the name because it was not too young, not too old and sounds good with our last name (which also starts with C). Then we told people who asked about names. Some responses:

"NOOOOO! I HATE Carson Daly!" (MTV personality)
"Do you WANT alliteration?" (first and last name starting with the same sound - and yes, we did)
"The first person I thought of is Carson Daly, but I didn't want to tell you that."
"That's a weak name. You need something more traditional."

Carson was the name we picked after going through a similar experience with another name we both liked, Connor. My favorite response to that one:

"Oh, I would never name a baby Connor. That was the name of Lacy Peterson's baby." (My mom said this; Lacy Peterson was that woman murdered when 8 months pregnant by her husband.)

Truth be told, these things don't bother me like they do B. But B is immediately dissuaded from any name he previously loved as soon as someone points out a "flaw". We really liked the idea of alliteration, and now he doesn't want to do it. We were SETTLED on Carson, but now he can't think of anything but Carson Daly (whom he can't stand). I'm afraid we will never settle on a name if we keep telling people the newest decision...because no matter what the name is, someone will always have a reason why you shouldn't use it. There is no name that everyone likes!

7 comments:

Unknown said...

Hey, I hope I didn't say anything offensive--I noticed you didn't include my comment on the list of comments...I wasn't trying to be negative. It's a cute name. But you're right, no one cares about the name as much as you do. And in the end, everyone will have to agree that whatever name and next time I'll keep my comments to myself! :)

Unknown said...

Oops, I made a typo. I meant to say that everyone would have to agree that whatever name you end up picking fits the child perfectly. I don't know why, but for some reason it always works out that way. I also said good luck on picking a name. Not sure what I did to mess my comment up so much! ;)

N said...

LOL I honestly don't remember you making any kind of negative comment about the name! I didn't leave out your comment intentionally. ;) Pretty much everyone makes a "comment" about names, whether it be through indifferent silence, positive comments or negative comments. So I don't begrudge anyone for their response, I just realized there is no point in "running names by" people because there is nothing everyone will like!

Tara said...

N, I have always felt that way about keeping names secrets, too. I know it's a personal decision, but I really don't get it...other than people making comments about the names and trying to persuade you one way or another. I do understand that. We didn't run into any of that because we named Charlie after my dad who had just died. Really, what are people going to say about not liking that name? It would have been disrespectful. And I needed more convincing than anyone, since I couldn't get the image out of my head of a really weird boy I went to elementary school who was named Charlie. :)

I like both names, Carson and Connor. I know boys with each of those names and they are both very strong ALL BOY boys. :)

Anonymous said...

We been in the same situation. In the end it your baby name and you don't listen to what people say.

Anonymous said...

Hi there! Connor is also a top contender on our list, and our last name begins with a "C," so we're not afraid of alliteration, either! :) Pick what you love -- SOMEBODY will always have something weird to say about ANY name you choose. Ignore those people!

Karma & Adam said...

My suggestion? Stop sharing : )
We didn't tell anyone our daughter's name more because every other part of her creation and development (including gender) was common knowledge. It felt nice having a surprise for the end and I have to say, people DID care and were very excited to finally find out what her name was going to be.

The other bonus to not sharing is that you avoid the "Oh no, don't name him/her that for reasons x,y,z..." No one will comment AFTER the babies are here, so you can choose a name you both love. That's what's important anyways.
Good luck!
And for the record, I really like Carson.