I am interrupting the regularly scheduled positive blog experience to vent to the world about my frustrations with solids. I don't know why, I just have to put this out there. (I will post a 6 month old update soon, I promise!)
So we started solids a couple of weeks ago. It is NOT GOING WELL!! Honestly, by the time night comes I am so frustrated I want to throw rocks through our windows. Like right now. Here's the problem. They pretty much cry the ENTIRE time I am feeding them the solids. In fact, they cry the second I put them in the high chairs for the most part. They don't like sitting up to eat and they don't like eating anything but their bottles. I know it's not the food because they outright rejected peas, so now I know what that is like (spitting out all the food and refusing to swallow). All other foods we have tried - rice cereal, pears, carrots, applesauce, and bananas - they have accepted (i.e., not spit out for the most part; yes I am waiting 3 days between starting each new one). But the whole time we are sitting there they are crying in between bites. I've gotten to the point I'm so frustrated that I wait until they scream - mouth open - and stick the food in. Yeah, I know, really helping the situation by giving them a negative association with the experience.
I'm sort of mad at our pediatrician for telling us we had to wait until they were 6 months old. I'm convinced that this is too long to wait and that at this point they are so used to their bottles they don't want anything else. It's been TWO WEEKS of the same thing and they aren't getting any happier with it. I've increased the frequency so we now do a serving of solids at breakfast, lunch and dinner, just like the end goal. They get their bottle after they finish the serving. Then there is one feeding at 2:30 of just their bottles. They are doing fine swallowing it so I'm not going by the whole "give them 1 or 2 spoons to start per day". They know how to do it, they just don't WANT to, so I see no reason for just having them take 1 or 2 spoons. They'll never learn that way. And Nathan has no problem eating a whole serving in a sitting. He likes the food, but he is still crying.
I think the reason Nathan cries is that he is totally hungry by the time of the feed and he can't control the speed of solids. Yes, I've tried 1) giving him half the bottle first so he's not ravenous and 2) giving him the whole bottle first and then the solids. If I give him half the bottle he still cries because he wants the rest. If I give him the whole bottle he doesn't want the solids. Kenna I think cries just because she doesn't want to accept anything new period.
At this point, I'm not willing to stop for a few days, cut back to 1 or 2 teaspoons per day, etc. I don't see the point. They just have to learn and practice makes perfect. And I may go insane in the meantime. I mean, really, really insane.
Did anyone else have a really frustrating experience starting solids?
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We are proud parents of boy/girl twins, born through a gestational surrogate after 3 years and 5 failed IVFs (for which doctors have no explanation)! Gestational surrogacy means that someone else carried our biological children. Embryos were created from us through in vitro fertilization (IVF), and then were transferred to our surrogate - a wonderful friend who offered to do this for us.
4 comments:
Have you tried reclining chairs for feeding? I found that worked well until my kids were a little older. I had a nice cloth bouncy sling type lounge chair and put a bath towel in it to catch the mess. It was inclined enough for them to swallow easily but was not totally upright. Then sit them in their high chairs 'just for fun' for short periods of time or at the table with you while you eat so they get an idea of what you do while sitting around the table. Once they are accustomed to getting food from a spoon on a regular basis you can try the high chairs again. They know when your frustrated so smile and pretend it doesn't matter - RELAX. Hope this helps
Honestly they might just not be ready. A bottle of formula is a whole meal, and thats ok. Sometimes we just need to take a break from something, and a week later all of a sudden they are ready. You know your children better than anyone. The only thing I'm saying is no stage needs to be rushed, or on the same time line for everychild. My niece is 18 months old, and still prefer mostly pured food, and thats ok. She was late with wanting to start food, its been a slow process, but shes extremely healthy and happy. I just want to say to you its ok to take a step away from this, and come back to it a little later.
I think you're pushing it too much. Not all the babies start solids at 6 months sharp. My Sil's son started with solids at 11 months, he just was not ready !!! And he was perfectly fine. I wouldnt be upset with the dr, because his advice didnt really cause them having troubles now. Some babies are ready earlier, some just later. But if I can give you an advise, never force them to eat something they dont want when they cry and open their months, that's a huge NO-No !! I mean, i wouldnt be happy if Im upset myself and someone shuffles my head into a bowl of a soup I hate. It does cause absolutely opposite effect. Also the more frustrated you get (and I totally believe you are), the more your babies feel it.
So my advice: try again in few days, without being frustrated, and hopefully it will work better ! You will see, they will definitely start when they are ready. it's not like they will be on formula until they are 18 years old !
I would suggest trying to give them their whole bottle whenever you normally would. Then wait about an hour or so and try putting them in their chairs. I've worked in a lot of childcare centers and as a nanny over the past few years and this is what we usually do with our children. Also they might just be too young to start. I can't remember, are they sitting up yet? Some babies just don't take to solids and if you just wait another few weeks and try again it will be a totally different experience. If they were started too late they would want the food and be happy but not able to successfully keep it in their mouths and swallow so I don't think that's the case here. Anyway good luck! I hope things change soon!
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