Five months old!!

Nathan and Kenna are five months old! Can you believe it? I certainly can't. It really is remarkable how fast they grow. It's so trite to say that (and I get tired of hearing it), but yes, it is true. Nathan is 17 pounds and Kenna is 15 pounds. People are always surprised when they ask how old they are and we say 5 months...they usually think they are a couple of months older!

So let's see, what's new? Well, I have to say that things have gotten a little more difficult lately if I'm being honest! I thought as babies got older they needed less attention, but I swear that Nathan and Kenna want more and more attention! It used to be that we would do "stations" during the day...some would involve me, others would involve them playing independently on their mat, etc. But I don't think there are ever times now where they are both happy to play on their own. It's become very tiring!! I get no breaks except during their lunch nap (and of course once they go to bed at 6:30). Don't get me wrong, I love spending time with them, but I also have to continue to get things done around the house and when two babies are constantly wanting attention it's next to impossible!! Mommy is very tired by the end of the day lately! All the little brief breaks I used to get during the day have gone out the window...I literally have swamps of emails I haven't been able to get to, and haven't read blogs in weeks. I know, that's not all that dire, but still, these were little things I used to do during the day when I had some free moments. I'm in the process of readjusting my expectations. :)

I would say the above is true for both of them, but especially for Nathan. He has always been so low maintenance (except at the beginning when we had the feeding problems) but lately he never wants to be in one spot for more than a few minutes. All this really started when he learned to roll from stomach to back a few weeks ago. He won't stay on his back at all now and just constantly is rolling around. When we put him down for bed time he immediately turns over and puts himself on "tummy time". He plays around for a while (meanwhile Kenna is fast asleep, being the champion sleeper she is). Then when he gets tired he goes nuts because he is stuck on his stomach...he has somehow forgotten for the most part how to roll from stomach to back even though he was doing that since he was six weeks old! So he goes crazy in the crib, gets his arms and legs stuck in between rails (we have bumpers off since they are considered a hazard now), and screams until we come in usually 45 minutes after we put him down. We pull him out of the rails and he sleeps on his tummy the rest of the night (that's supposedly OK once they start flipping on their own, and this is how he chooses to sleep every single night now). It's become a little routine for him. Then he sleeps until 4 or 5 am when he wakes up and realizes he is stuck again and we have to move him. Very frustrating seeing as how we have had them sleeping 12 hours a night since they were 7 weeks old thanks to the brilliant schedules in "Contented House with Twins". I got too cozy with our little routine I guess! I move Nathan now half asleep and come back to bed. :) He is just a really active little boy and it's easy to tell he will crawl and walk really early...he is trying to crawl desperately but is just too young. He gets really frustrated because he wants mobility badly! Little Kenna is content to just sit in mommy's lap all day and smile at me. She has still only rolled over twice...they are stereotypical for a boy and a girl I uess!

Our schedule these days is: Wake up at 7 and eat. Nap 9-9:45 then eat. Nap 12-2 then eat. Nap 4:15-4:30 (yes, a cat nap) then eat. Bed at 6:30. Yup, they sleep over 12 hours at night! They both eat about 9 ounces per feeding (4 feedings per day). We'll start solids at 6 months per the pediatrician's recommendation. I can't believe they are almost old enough!

In other news we accomplished our first family trip! We went to Mammoth last weekend (ski area in central California). It's one of our favorite places to go both in winter and in summer. We went with some good friends of ours who also love Mammoth and who have a baby just 3 months younger than Nathan and Kenna. We drove up at night during their bed time and they did great (5 hour drive). They slept in their car seats the whole night and had no problems. The next night we had them at the condo in pack n plays and Kenna was the great sleeper she always is, just like mommy. Nathan, however, woke up at 4 am. I immediately started to panic and two lessons immediately became clear: 1) It is far more stressful to have babies in a location where others are sleeping because you can't just let them cry back to sleep like we would at home. 2) Without our trusty swing that puts either baby back to sleep when needed within minutes, combined with number 1 above, it was a very scary situation. B walked Nathan around for a good hour and he just didn't want to sleep. It threw the whole day off. The next night he woke up even earlier, and it was even less fun in the wee hours of the morning. We are going to a cabin over Memorial Day and no matter how much space the swing takes up in the car, we will have it. :) When all was said and done, all of us were so proud to have made the effort to go...we are all of the mindset that it is really important to not give up on the things you enjoy after having kids just because it's more difficult. It wasn't the most fun trip I've ever had, but now that we know what to expect we can plan better for future trips.

So today is Mother's Day. I really looked forward to going to church this morning since they always celebrate motherhood and I have avoided this service like the plague for the last few years. But truth be told, I felt really weird about it all this morning. Our church had a red carpet toward the entrance with sunflowers for all the moms. I absolutely couldn't bring myself to walk down it and purposely walked in the other side. A red carpet signifies a position of honor or prestige. It's not that I don't think moms deserve that, but it hurt me to think of all the women who do not hold this "position of honor" yet long to desperately. There is no way I felt comfortable blithely walking down the symbolic path of honor knowing that I do not deserve that honor anymore than those women who are waiting still. Pretty much every time I'm out with the twins in public I am told how lucky I am. Over and over people tell me how much they always wanted twins, and how perfect that they are a boy and a girl and how beautiful they are. I am SO incredibly lucky. I am constantly aware of that. You can not decide that you are going to have kids, so anyone who has them IS lucky. Of course most people never have to give it a second thought. But for many of us who do, it will never feel right to be "honored" for something that you realize you can in no way control - Nathan and Kenna are a beautiful, precious gift from God and J and I am just the recipient of that blessing. No red carpet for me, please. I just want two of those sunflowers to put in their nursery, one for each blessing we have received.