First post in new home!

I decided to re-start my blog at this new site because there were so many technical difficulties with the other site. It also feels like a fresh start, which I like. The original blog seems like the journey TO the point of pregnancy. This one can be a fresh start for the pregnancy itself. I have of course saved all of those entries for the baby book, and these will join. :)

The latest news is that we have our second ultrasound tomorrow! I have to admit that I have been quite peaceful for the most part since our first ultrasound. After finding out two weeks ago that we are having twins, I've been consumed with excitement and thoughts of "oh my gosh, I need to read at least 50 books to figure out what to do with these two babies when they get here"! I've gone into major planning mode, including the beginning of a master baby checklist. B and I started it over dinner recently, to list everything we need to do before the babies come. Yes, we are only 8 weeks along. Our need to start planning is for a few reasons:

1. It's exciting and this is an outlet for that excitement.

2. We are both major planners by nature.

3. Neither B nor I know anything about babies, so finding out that two will join us later this year has snapped us into task planning perhaps more quickly than other people. We genuinely have a whole lot to learn. I've never even babysat a baby younger than 9 months before!

4. I have big decisions to make about what I will do work-wise. I own my own company and work from home, but I work a lot. And I really don't know what I will do at this point.

5. When you're not pregnant with your own children, you have to find a way to "join the pregnancy" somehow. That's the only way I can think of to describe it. I don't feel progress in my tummy - seeing it grow, having morning sickness, feeling muscles stretch, etc. - so the only way for me to feel progression over this time and grow along with the babies is to do other things. Setting up a task list for the next few months really helps with that because it allows me to conceptualize at each point where we are in the pregnancy. Fortunately, J (our surrogate), is in our weekly Bible study and so I will get to see her (and her growing tummy) very regularly also! We will probably start the nursery earlier than other people do as another attempt to "follow along". It's very important to me to experience all of the pregnancy we can, and be mindful of the progress, even if I'm not actually carrying the babies. I am also reading along pregnancy week-by-week books and learning all I can about how they are developing as we go.

I really couldn't ask for a better surrogate. I feel like this whole thing has been like winning the lottery. Sure, I realize that we went through a whole lot to even get here and most people don't have to do all that, but given where we were things couldn't have happened in a better way. I can't imagine trusting anyone in the world more than I trust our amazing surrogate with our babies! The interesting implication of that is that I probably have less concern about the pregnancy than others who have gone through multiple failed IVFs before getting pregnant themselves. Most people I know in that situation were terrified the entire pregnancy that their bodies would let them down again at some point and they would lose the baby. I know that miscarriage is still possible due to problems with the embryos themselves, but because I don't fret over the pregnancy itself being in my uterus I am able to feel better than many who are actually pregnant after IVF! I'm really, really thankful for this upside. :) I may have gone crazy if I carried myself after all we've been through.

That said, there are still fears that creep up. Today especially is a little nerve wracking because our second ultrasound is tomorrow morning. What if the babies aren't there anymore? Or what if only one is there? It's all really scary but I'm trying to be more excited than scared. I will of course be updating when we get back.